I missed this cute kid's football game, because I was just too cold to go.

Dear Winter,
I am so not ready for you.
Love,
Me

Reunion

My 10 year high school reunion is next weekend.

I'm not going.

It's funny when I told my sister I wasn't going she said "but, Ashlee you loooooved high school!" and I laughed (she was in elementary school when I was in HS and even she knew how much I loved it).

Honestly it just doesn't fit into my schedule if it had been during a school break (summer anyone??) I would have been there in a heartbeat...

It sounds like there are not very many people going...about 10% of our class and the people I care most about seeing won't be there. So, I'll figure out a time to catch up with them. And I'll try harder to make it to the 20 year.

Today has me really thinking about what my 18 year-old-self thought my 10 year reunion would be like.

While driving around our little town before graduation a friend asked that crazy boy obsessed girl  if she really thought she was going to marry someone from high school, and I remember just what that Ashlee said...

she said "if there is anyone from this school I end up marrying I think it will be Jeremy" kind of a surprising answer since we never dated...

but the way 18yo Ashlee saw it, if neither of us were married we'd meet up at the 10 year reunion and that something that had always been there would be tried out, tested and just maybe the timing would be right....

I filled him in on my plan, it would be just like my best friends wedding...only not such a close call :)

Throughout college my thoughts and day dreams would find myself back there more often then most people would probably admit, but it always did.

5 years ago today those silly day dreams were taken from me (that feels so selfish to type because so much more then that was lost).

Jeremy passed away after a hard fought battle with cancer.

So, even if everything had worked out and I was hanging out with the rest of MHS class of 2001 next weekend I know that without him there it would never be able to live up to 18 year old Ashlee's idea of a high school reunion.

Jeremy-
I really really miss you. I have so many regrets when it comes to our friendship, I wish I would have been a better friend to you during that time. I was so scared and I thought saying nothing was better than saying the wrong thing and I will never be able to have that time back, I'm so sorry. Sometimes I regret that time I broke that big wooden paddle brush when I hit you with it, but honestly mostly it makes me laugh when I think about it! :) I still miss your phone calls every year on my birthday and I always think about your dad, I've contemplated a card, but honestly he still kind of scares me from that one time on Easter, with the beer. I'm going back to school to get my requirements to sit for the cpa exam and Jeremy I love it...seriously love it. I'm getting As (can you even imagine? I do my homework! I don't copy off of anyone!). I wish I could tell you, I want to hear what you have to say about it. Would you be shocked, or does it totally fit in with the fact that your dad and I share a birthday, and a personality, and now a profession? I hope you knew how much you meant to me, and I really did think just maybe someday it would work out, and if nothing else we could have totally laughed about it next weekend.

Love,
me

Happy Monday to you!

I know, I know we are supposed to hate Monday's...but I just can't help but think Monday's get a bad rap!

1. Monday is a clean slate.
2. I am re-energized and refocused.
3. I have a new to do lists and plans to have a successful week.

Maybe I just had an extra good weekend, and so having to go back to work and school doesn't seem so bad? (I mean don't get me wrong I almost cried when the alarm went off this morning, but that happens everyday...it's not just a Monday thing!)

First and most important good weekend thing...

Source: soonersports.com via Ashlee on Pinterest

We beat texas 55-17! Even better than that? Those Sooners looked like that had it together on both sides of the ball!

Second good weekend thing....



I only took my pajamas off to go out to eat for breakfast Saturday morning, and dinner last night...I love lazy weekends and it has been sooo long since I've had one! This one was much needed and appreciated and I know the KuddleBug loves it when we stay home with her!

Third good weekend thing....

I finally nailed dates for our cruise this winter! Now I just have to pick which ship/cruise line I want to go on...I'm not going to lie if I can figure out which one has the best food that will be the deciding factor for me.....



So here is to good weekends, Mondays being not so bad, and an awesome week!!!

BOOMER!!

It's one of my favorite weekends of the year OU/sɐxǝʇ! 


I'm a little bit sad I'm not heading down to Dallas, but at the same time I'm a little bit relieved that I don't have to go anywhere at all for two days, and other than training walks I have no intention of leaving my house. 


BLISS.

The little dog is really excited to cheer for the SOONERS! 

I already missed two weekdays.....Oh well I'll keep trying....

The 3-Day

                                  

This year I signed up for the Susan G. Komen 3-day for the Cure. 

I will walk 60 miles over the course of three days, I will sleep in a tent (me in a tent! outside!), I will have raised at least $2300 in donations.

This walk is something I have been anxious to participate in for years but life always got in the way. This year I stopped making excuses and signed up.

I haven't even started the walk and I can't even tell you how hard the journey to get there has been. I try to fit in all of my training, but I work, go to school, it's been 110 degrees allfreakingsummer and the last thing I want to do is go outside and walk 10 miles. I hate asking people for money and fundraisers are hard HARD work. 

I buy new shoes-socks-powders-creams-gels every week to try and get rid of the blisters that everyone looks at and tells me "those are horrible, I don't ever get blisters though so I don't know what you should do". I have 12 blisters on the bottom of my feet at this very moment, and I plan to walk 10 miles tonight, tomorrow I'll report back to the running store on how our new experiment is going. 

We are planning on hosting our fourth garage sale to raise money in a few short weeks, and then I am missing a weekend away trip to a football game that I really, really wanted to go to because we need to squeeze in one last fundraiser. 

All this to say it's not easy, I've already wanted to quit (and in theory I haven't even started) and I've cried and I've pouted, and I've neglected things that need to get done and feel guilty because everything can't have my attention and WALKING 17 miles for a training walk takes F O R E V E R! 

Through all of this (and the flat tire I got after a long walk on Saturday that had me sitting in a parking lot barely able to moving balling my eyes out waiting to be rescued) I have to remind myself why I signed up for this walk, why I am doing this. 

I am walking because the most significant risk factors for breast cancer are being female and getting older (two things that are pretty impossible to avoid).

I am walking because the first time I watched someone lose their mother to this disease we we were in fourth grade and saying "I'm so sorry" wasn't enough then or any other time since. 

I am walking because I want to see an end to cancer. I am walking because without a cure, one person will die of breast cancer every 13 minutes in the United States.

I am walking because I can. 

No matter how hard (and time consuming) I feel like this walk has been I know that my struggles cannot compare to someone who is battling cancer, or someone who is watching their loved one battle this disease. I will fight through blisters and exhaustion and I'll be thankful that is all I am fighting. 

October Goals

1. Blog Every Weekday - Next month is NaBloPoMo and I want to play! Weekends are harder to post/nobody reads on weekends any way so this weekday blogging will be a good start. I will not be afraid to schedule posts! This month is going to be crazy!

2. Walk 100 Miles. Plan is loooooong weekend walks, and as many during the week walks as I can manage.

3. Reach Team Donation Goal. We need $2240, and we have 30 days to make it...here's hoping a lot of people are feeling generous this month! (this deserves it's own post...coming tomorrow!)

4. Spend @ least 1 hr a day on school work. I hate being behind and trying to catch up so I really need to just stay ahead/caught up!

5. Keep Car Cleaned Out. My car is a disaster area, it is so bad I hate for people to have to get into it, I have no excuses any more I am not commuting any where. I should be able to keep my car presentable. Reward I get to have it detailed if I succeed!  

6. Organize Office. My office is the only room in the house that still has boxes in it from our move back in August...this needs to change!

7. Finish Gallery Wall. Good thing about my office is the Gallery Wall is hung, but I am kind of tired of looking at empty picture frames.

8. Comment More! I read a whole lot of blogs, but I don't follow many of them publicly and I hardly ever comment, I get so shy! 

9. Try 2 new recipes This actually isn't too much of a challenge for me on any normal month, but I've gotten a few less "this is the best thing I have ever eaten" lately and I am missing that reaction so I need to find some yummy things to make!

10.  Get a laundry schedule, and stick to it! Seriously we only have 2 people in our house and I always have a mountain of laundry, we obviously have to many clothes because I can go weeks without doing any. The plies are redic (what I'm cool?). Somethings got to give!

I'm pretty sure the theme of October is Time Management, like I better get a helluva lot better at it if I am going to make it out in one piece! 

Do you set monthly goals? What about weekly & monthly? I do I am all about breaking up my long term goals as small as I need to.Whatever it takes to get some instant gratification....